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Carrot Muffin with Orange Frosting

In Portugal we have a lot of words. We have way to many words. We have a thousand words for the same thing and a thousand meanings for the same word. We don’t need more words. We’re fine. We got it covered.
So do you know what madeleines are? If you were born after the 90’s, you probably don’t. But muffins are just the new madeleines. When I was a kid there was no muffins in Portugal. We had madalenas (which is the portuguesation of the french name) and queques (which is the portuguesation of the english word cake), but they were just the same cake. Some people will say this isn’t true. But they’re stupid. It’s the same fuckin cake. Trust me.

“Queques? But who the hell still have queques? Such a jurassic thing! Nowadays people want muffins and cupcakes!”

First time I baked muffins was in chef school. It was a nice recipe indeed, with shit loads of fat and oily as fuck, just as a good traditional muffins recipe should be. The kind that people see as healthy because muffins are just sponge cakes.
After baked, the cakes were removed from the silicone forms. And my bakery chef says “And here you have your muffins.” And I say “That look exactly like queques.”. And he says “Exactly like queques? These are muffins! Totally different!”. And I was just thinking to myself “If you weren’t my teacher, I would punch you a fuckin queque down your throat.”.

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Raw Carrot and Chocolate Cake

I am portuguese. I’m not a nationalist, not a little. I can sing A Portuguesa ’cause I learnt in school. I don’t get outraged because we have brasilian players representing our national football team. Even less I see representing the national football team as the ultimate act of patriotism. I am portuguese because I was born in Portugal. I could be anything else. But, as any other portuguese, my own tastes were shaped during my childhood. Specially when it comes to food.

No man. I’m sorry. I can’t. I tried carrot cake with cream cheese frosting many times. Vegan and non-vegan (Yes, I was not born vegan. Surprise, surprise). I’m not saying it’s bad. It is quite nice. But carrot cake is with chocolate frosting.

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