Banana, Peanut Butter and Chocolate Granola
Pepsi and Peanuts
When I was a kid, I used to drink Pepsi with peanuts.
I don’t know why, but back then there was no kid that wouldn’t like stuffing peanuts in the Pepsi bottle, leave it to briefly marinate and then, with a tremendous hard work, pour it down the throat. Everybody seemed to enjoy it. And yes, back then Pepsi was sold in bottles. Cans are too 21rst Century. And yes, it was really Pepsi, not Coke. Don’t ask me why.
The King is not dead
I have no ideia who came up with this banana-peanut butter combo. Conspiracy theories claim that was Elvis own ideia, probably demanded by the Illuminati, perpetuating this misleading Matrix prison we live in, while covering-up the close encounters of third kind with extra-terrestial beings and hiding the astrophysics laws that prove the flat earth theory.
If it was really Elvis, thank you King. I know you didn’t die. Or at least your sideburns. They live inside every one of us, hipsters, just waiting for the beard to be shaved.
I don’t know when did this become a thing, but I just tried this combo maybe half a decade ago. And I became a fan.
I even have the recipe for the best banana sandwich in the world. Before we heard about peanut butter in Portugal, we were drowned in the darkness and every kid eating banana sandwiches would be a bullying victim. Or maybe that was just in my town. Everybody in my town would suffer from bullying, one way or the other. But nobody knew that word back then. And talking foreignese back then would result in a slap in the middle of the eyes, just to put you back on your place. Good old times.
Banana and peanut butter is the perfect marriage right? And how can you improve a perfect marriage? If I was the real macho latino now, the answer would be – “with bitches”. But as I am a nice guy, the answer is simply – “with chocolate”.
Banana, Peanut Butter and Chocolate Granola
When you already have banana and peanut butter, you’re just missing the chocolate. The Ben & Jerry’s dudes almost had the most brilliant ideia, but they decided to replace the peanut butter with walnuts, when they came up with the Cunky Monkey. Such a dick heads. They could have created the best ice cream ever made, but they ended up with one just insanly good.
In this granola, however, nothing was left behind. And, on the top of that, it’s gluten free, sugar free and oil free. It’s a granola that clearly tastes like granola.
5 Cups of Oatmeal
2 Ripe Bananas
1/2 Cup of Peanut Butter
1/2 Cup of Water
1/4 de Cup of Pumpkin Seeds (Walnuts would be even better)
1/4 de Cup of Grounded Sesame Seeds
1/2 Cup of Cocoa Nibs
- If you’re using a less juicy variety, I recommend soaking them in water for a couple hours, before using;
- Turn the oven on 160ºC;
- Pit the dates and mash them with a fork, together with the half a cup of water;
- Add in the banana and peanut butter and mash it all together, like if you’re smashing someones head against the floor and there was blood and brains splashing on your face;
- Add in the oatmeal, pumpkin seeds and grounded sesame seeds;
- Mix it through;
- It is very important that the oatmeal is totally coated with the mix;
- Cover a tray with some parchment paper;
- Spread the granola mix on the tray (I used 2 trays);
- The mix should very sticky and you’re probably thinking you’ve already fucked up, but don’t worry – everything is gonna be alright;
- Bake it in the oven for about 15 or 20 minutes;
- I’ve said this a thousand times, but sometimes I feel like I’m talking greek – THE COOKING TIME VARIES A LOT FROM OVEN TO OVEN! THE FOOD IS READY WHEN IS READY! AFTER 15 MINUTES, VIRGIN MARY MOTHER OF CHRIST WILL NOT DESCEND FROM THE HEAVENS TO WARN YOU THAT YOUR FOOD IS READY!;
- When your granola looks nice and golden, it’s time to mix it a bit;
- I used my bare macho hands to break this hot plaques in small pieces;
- If you’re a little girl, you can let it cool down before doing this;
- Take your granola back in the oven for some extra 15 minutes;
- When it’s golden and crispy, it’s ready;
- Allow it to completely cool down before adding the cocoa nibs;
- If you ignored this step, you’re stupid;
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And keep it green. Keep it real!
(1 Service ~ 2 Tablespoons)
Blue – 48% Carbs
Red – 40% Fat
Green – 12% Protein
- You can replace the pumpkin seeds with walnuts, almonds or even peanuts;
- I used MyProtein cocoa nibs because I really like the quality of the product and plus, I have partnership with the brand;
- On the right side of the blog you can find my link with discounts for the organic and vegan lines, although it just work for the portuguese online shop;
- I also used MyProtein peanut butter, but you can use homemade, as I already showed how to do here;
- If you want to make this granola taste even better, you can add some sun dried banana to it;
- I didn’t because I didn’t find any without shit loads of sugar or oil;
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