Soup. Soupy soup. Never heard about parsnips.

“It’s like eating water, with things floating in it.
It’s like eating a beverage, with things floating in it.
It’s like eating mud, with dirt mixed in it.
It makes me want to throw up.”

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Parsnip soup with fresh green beans and roasted almonds

Soup. Soupy soup. Those vegetables, legumes and stuff, that adopt the form of a cream, pure or some sort of a bucket of water with green things inside. For many of us the real nectar of life, for others the only real excuse to eat plants, and for some it’s just some crappy food meant for the poor. Oh soup. Soupy soup.

Did you like soup when you were a child? Of course not. And do you remember how would your mother not allow you to eat the rest of the food, if you wouldn’t eat the soup first? And do you remember that the rest of the food was usually steaks and fries? Even without knowing it, you and her, there was some sort of logic behind this – it’s because the soup was way more important to you than the steak and fries.

I was always very skilled with the fork. My mom never had to make me eat anything. She use to say that, when I was a child, I would drink poison if she would give me. Now that I think about, that’s kind of suspicious…

For 2 soup lovers or 4 mama’s boys

Ingredients:

2 Parsnips

½ Celery root

1 Garlic clove

1 TBSP Vegetable stock powder (organic if I may suggest)

1 Handful of thyme

2 Cups of White beans (previously soaked)

1 Handful of Fresh green beans

Black pepper

Nutmeg

Salt

1 Handful of Roasted almonds

Instructions:

Do you know what parsnips are? Parsnips? That thing that looks like a white carrot? You don’t? Just because of it, for free and shit, I’ll give you a website where you can find this kind of information – www.google.com – but, hey, don’t go out there spreading this like crazy, telling people that I’m giving you this kind of knowledge for free.

  • Peel your parsnips with a peeler (or with that crappy knife if you’re older than 63);
  • Peel also your celeriac. And it’s a pain in the ass to do it, I know;
  • Cut everything in dices or however the f*ck you want – you’re gonna blend it anyways;
  • Remove the leafs from the thyme sprigs, one by one… you’re such a dumbass. Come on man! Just do that sh*t! If it have tiny pieces of sprigs, lot’s of flavour my friend;
  • Throw the whole sh*t into a pot;
  • Add in a tablespoon of vegetable stock powder and the whole garlic clove;

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  • If you’re working with pre-soaked white beans, but still raw, you can add right now. If you’re like me, and you always have cooked beans in your freezer, you can add it later. If you’re working with canned beans, you can also add it later. If you didn’t soak your beans yet, close this window and leave me alone;
  • Fill up the pot with water, a bit more than enough to cover all the stuff;
  • Let it boil and then let it cook on low heat, always covered, for about 1 hour;
  • In the meanwhile, slice your fresh green beans;

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  • Finally add your beans and let it cook 10 extra minutes;IMG_1114.JPG
  • It’s now time to blend this whole sh*t up. You have several options here:
  1. That trashy hand blender that will leave your soup looking like sh*t and full of unblended chunks – which is not always bad;
  2. Blend your stuff in a blender, just as I like to do – and I’m warning you in advance that you’ll need a bowl to pour your soup in, because you’ll need to blend this in 2 or 3 times;
  3. Finally, if you’re a 21rst. century housewife, open that cupboard door – you know, that one with the f*cked up door handle – , check behind the old inox milk mug, just between the electric egg cooker and the stone made mortar, somewhere over there you should find your a 1000 euros thermomix, which didn’t really cost a 1000 euros because you bought it on sale. This is your opportunity to use it. Just remember to wash it, because of the dust;
  • When your creamy soup it ready, pour it back to the pot. Add some water if you find it too thick. Now, do that thing that you never do – taste your f*ckin food! Does it need salt? So add it in. Add also in some black pepper and nutmeg;
  • Add in the fresh green beans, cover the pot and let it cook in low heat for 10 minutes;

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  • Taste a spoonful of soup, and make sure you grab some pieces of green beans, to check if you just made a law abiding soup;
  • Serve your soup in your favourite bowl and throw some cracked roasted almonds on the top of it;
  • Done;

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And keep it green. Keep it real!

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Breakdown Calórico:

(for 2 fellas; almonds included)

Blue – 60% Carbs

Red – 24% Fat

Green – 16% Protein

It helps A LOT if you comment 🙂

 

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