Carrot and stuff with chocolate thingies cake

“You lied to me.”

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Carrot, orange and chocolate cake

I don’t know if you know this, but carrot is very good for your eye sight. I know, it’s some powerful information that I could keep in secret, or maybe sell it one day, but I am all about giving away in these days. And you know what goes well with carrot? Chocolate! And you know what goes well with chocolate? Orange! Except here in Norway. These “folkens” here have the strange habit of eating carrot cake with cheese frosting. They know nothing, Jon Snow…

Things aside, I don’t enjoy baking. I just don’t. I mean, I am all about big pots of stuff you see? It’s my thing, big pots of stuff. That said, Joana is the one who does the baking around here. She says that we both do. That I help. I certainly eat more than her. I help a lot with that.


1+½ Cup Oats (gluten free oats if you need it)

1 Cup Buckwheat Flour

4 Medium sized Carrots

¼ Cup Chocolate chips (vegan of course) – or cut a chocolate bar in pieces. I should recommend ginger or orange chocolate for this!

½ Cup Almonds

1 Cup Dates – +/- 12 Dates

1 Cup Orange juice – fresh or from the box, not from concentrate of course

2 Teaspoons Baking powder

1 Tablespoon Cinnamon powder

1 Teaspoon Vanilla powder

1 Teaspoon Orange essence


  • Turn on the oven and heat it up to 976ºC, until lava comes out of it and you have to pull of you iron boots. Yes, iron is the most resistent material in the planet, in case of you didn’t know. Ou maybe just set it to 175ºC. It may be enough;
  • Peel your carrots, with that thing to take the peel of, or with a knife. But it have to be a really f*cked up one, to waste a lot of carrot;
  • Grab half the carrots and throw it into a pot with water and cook it;


  • Spread the almonds on a tray and roast it in the oven. Unless you already have roasted almonds. If you have roasted almonds and you’re planning to roast it again, you’re stupid. 10 minutes, if the oven is already hot;
  • Shred the carrots with the thicker side of the shredder;


  • Ups! Wrong shredder;


  • There it is;
  • Grab your oats and brutalize it in the food processor until it gets like flour. Or you can use oats flour;


  • Cut your chocolate in small pieces. Unless you’re working with chocolate chips of course;
  • Throw the oats in a big bowl and season it with the cinnamon and vanilla. Add also in the baking powder and buckwheat flour and mix it well;
  • Pour your orange juice in the blender cup and add in the pitted dates. Blend it. Keep the pits to make a cury later;
  • What is this burnt smell? Check your almonds man!;
  • Take it out from the oven and leave it on a side to cool down;
  • Check also if the carrot is already cooked. Yes, with a fork. It’s supposed to be very soft. Is it? So drain it and mash it with the fork;
  • Now, grab your big bowl where you have the oats in, add the shredded carrot, mashed carrot, chocolate pieces and the orange-date thingie;

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  • Mix it well;
  • At last, add in the almonds – that shouldn’t be too hot – and the orange essence. Mix it well again;


  • Pour the stuff in a silicone loaf pan. If you don’t have a silicone pan, don’t forget to use baking paper. I recommend you to buy a silicone one anyways;


  • Put your cake in the oven. It takes around 45 minutes to be ready. You have to keep an eye on it;
  • It is useless trying to check if it is done with a fork or something. It is kind of a wet cake, so it will always look … wet. But you can see when it’s ready when is not sticking to the pan;


  • Take it out the oven and let it cool down for about 15 minutes, before you take it out from the pan. But do not turn off the oven!;
  • After you take it off the pan, place on the oven grid, over a baking paper sheet, and let it cook 15 extra minutes;
  • When ready, take it out the oven and let it cool down before you cut. Unless you want to f*ck the cake up. Just don’t come here to insult me after that;
  • Warm it up a bit on the microwave everytime you serve it 😉



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A cake makes 20 slices!

Caloric Breakdown per slice:

Blue – 64% Carbs

Red– 25% Fat

Green – 11% Protein

It helps A LOT if you comment 🙂

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